Japan in a Dream Manufactured for Weirdos


Hana Varsano, Staff Writer

I had a dream that I was in Japan

A city, Tokyo I think

But for some strange reason everyone there was American

And my parents were not there, but they allowed me to go, so I went

And I stayed with a large group of people at the Hilton motel

Including Rivers Cuomo, the lead singer of Weezer

We stayed on the first story of that 4 story motel

In our room there was a living room with a sofa, a kitchen,

and a dining room that had stained glass in it

Rivers Cuomo gave me a menu and the other people staying with me got the menu as well

However, River Cuomo wanted money from me, 300 yen, so I gave it to him

When he was making the group breakfast, I decided to go outside on the sidewalk and sit down near a bedfull of plants

There was a homeless girl who looked to be in 7th or 8th grade

And I talked to her

She told me her story about being homeless

Out on the sidewalk I also saw a boy I knew carrying a younger boy on his back

In this dream he was without a home as well

Imagine living in that hell


Then I went back inside to the hotel room and Rivers Cuomo demanded 300 more yen from me

I thought I had already paid, but I gave more to him anyways

I was distraughtly upset that i had to pay that much money

despite having 10,000 yen

It made me fearful that I wouldn’t be able to buy things I wanted

I was bored

I wanted to see the city

The lights, the leveled arcades, Harajuku street, the vending machines, the gashapon machines, the shrines, the temples

Yet here I was in this boring, large hotel room with a man who sang in Weezer, charging me extra for my breakfast

But breakfast never came and the group went walking and saw a parade with high school students from my school representing Louisiana State University

The color was purple like the actual Louisiana State University color

And the high schoolers were all girls on the float

They were in sparkly, Broadway-esque leotards and headed into a theater and I followed them too

The girls in the glamorous leotards formed into a choir and started to sing

However the words in the song seemed to be narcissistic and rude

They sang “What a [female dog], You are a [female dog], You are all [female dogs], You are a bunch of dumb [female dogs]”

and so on and so forth

I had come to see a choir sing beautifully, not a college being irresponsible for what teenagers were singing

This pissed me off to the point where I gave the choir of women in sparkly leotards the finger

And I decided to hold it up until they saw it

I was so angry at them

I had expected to go to Japan in the dream seeing people nicer than in the United States, but all

I saw were American teens being rude and I decided to be rude back,

like an elementary schooler in the playground